On Christmas Day in 1977, the Mel Brooks film High Anxiety, was released. [To watch the trailer for the film, open this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEKqrMipA8Q] It’s no coincidence about the release date. The winter holidays are often full of high anxiety. Do you feel it? Trying to get around your city / town is tricky with shoppers, party-goers, events-goers are all jockeying for positions on the roads and you went out just to get cream for your coffee. The agony over going into debt just to make the holidays “special.” The decorating, over-decorating. Buying, buying, buying. End of the year bills. Kids are wild and school is out. So, how do we avoid getting an intense case of anxiety during the winter holidays?
Let’s look first at what holiday anxiety looks like. According to mental health therapist, Kaytee Gillis, “Holiday anxiety can turn what’s often considered the most joyful time of the year into a period of stress and overwhelm. For many, the excitement about upcoming holidays can bring on a sense of happiness but also anxiety from heightened obligations, family dynamics, social pressures, and expectations associated with holiday celebrations. Understanding the causes, recognizing the signs, and exploring coping strategies are essential for effectively managing holiday anxiety.
The holidays can amplify or trigger anxiety symptoms because of family pressures, societal expectations, and long to-do lists during the holidays. Over 60% of people surveyed reported feeling an increase in stress during the holiday season. If you are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, you may be more vulnerable to holiday stress and experience flare-ups during the holidays.
Causes of holiday anxiety can include:
* Pressure to buy gifts for friends and family that may strain your finances
* Pressure to see extended family who make you uncomfortable
* Large social gatherings
* Pressure of hosting a party
* Cooking large meals for holiday dinners
* Pressure to make the holidays a good experience for your children
* Social pressures to spend money on get togethers and holiday events
* Pressure to purchase decorations such as lights and trees
*Feeling stressed trying to get everything done by the end of the year
[Notice how many of these stressors are about spending money, likely money we may not have.]
Holiday anxiety often manifests in ways that can catch you off guard. One common symptom of holiday anxiety is feeling irritable rather than excited by holiday events or family visits. Sometimes, people also have difficulty concentrating and completing personal and work tasks. These symptoms can lead to increased fatigue, decreased motivation, and a general sense of exhaustion, making it challenging to enjoy the season.
Common symptoms of holiday anxiety include:
* Increased irritability
* Trouble sleeping
* Feeling apprehensive
* Poor concentration
* Struggling to complete work deadlines
* Mood fluctuations
* Appetite changes
* Decreased motivation
* Feeling more exhausted despite sleeping
* Increased headaches or pains
*Decreased sex drive” (https://www.choosingtherapy.com/holiday-anxiety/) The rest of the article shares 10 tips on how to cope with holiday anxiety. Check it out!
The Mayo Clinic offers helpful information in their article, “Tips for taking control of the holidays (so they don’t take control of you”, the authors remind us, “Learning to recognize your holiday stress triggers, such as financial pressures or personal demands, helps you control them. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you can find enjoyment during the holidays”
(https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/mental-health/tips-for-taking-control-of-the-holidays-so-they-dont-take-control-of-you/). They suggest, “Taking some simple, conscious steps can help minimize or even ward off situational holiday stress and depression.
1. Acknowledge your feelings. The holidays can trigger sadness if you’ve recently lost or are missing loved ones. It’s normal to feel this sadness and grief. Allow yourself to feel. It’s ok to cry. And find someone you can share your feelings with. Chances are, you’re not alone.
2. Reach out. Seeking out community, religious or other social events can help you connect with others. Many may also have websites, online support groups, social media sites or virtual events.Helping others is often the best way to help ourselves. Consider volunteering your time or doing something to help others. It could be as simple as dropping off a meal or holiday treats to someone who could use it.
3. Be realistic. It’s not realistic to feel ‘holiday joy’ all the time. In fact, as families grow and change it’s natural to think of and long for how things were. Embrace the change by holding onto favorite traditions while being open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children or other relatives can’t come to your home, find new ways to celebrate together such as starting a group text exchange or scheduling a group video call/celebration.
4. Set aside differences. Focus on the positives of any family members with whom you may disagree. Don’t bring up ‘hot topics’ and set aside grievances for this time. Also try to be understanding if others get upset or distressed. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress as well.
5. Create a budget. Give yourself the gift of having a budget. Before you do your gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can realistically afford to spend. This can help make shopping fun and feel less out-of-control. Here are a few ways to minimize gifting stress:
* Donate to a charity in someone’s name.
* Give homemade gifts.
* Start a family gift exchange by drawing names.
6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, connecting with friends and other holiday activities. This can provide things to look forward to, rather than having events feel like obligations.
7. Saying ‘no’ is ok. Saying ‘yes’ when you should say ‘no’ can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. And you don’t have to explain or make up excuses. You can simply say, ‘sorry, that doesn’t work for me that day.’
8. Keep up healthy habits. The holidays are often about indulgences. Enjoy the treat, but balance it with healthy habits that are good for both your body and mind. Here are a few suggestions:
* Have a healthy snack before holiday celebrations.
* Eat healthy meals.
* Get plenty of sleep.
* Include regular physical activity in your daily routine.
* Try deep-breathing exercises, meditation or yoga.
* Avoid excessive use of alcohol or tobacco.
* Be aware of how social media is affecting you. Adjust the time you spend reading news or being online as needed.
9. Give yourself a break. Even those who thrive on the hustle and bustle of the season will benefit from taking a break from the activity. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may leave you feeling refreshed. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm. Here are a few ideas:
* Take a daily walk
* Get fresh air
* Drive around the neighborhood to view seasonal light displays
* Play your favorite music
* Listen to a new podcast
10. Seek professional help if you need [want] it. If you experience feelings of persistent sadness and anxiety, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional” (qtd. in https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/mental-health/tips-for-taking-control-of-the-holidays-so-they-dont-take-control-of-you/).
Did you notice how most of these coping tips do not involve spending lots of money? In her article, “Conquering Holiday Money Stress”, Joyce Marter in Psychology Today shares superb key points: “Reflect on the stories you tell yourself about money to understand holiday spending habits. Reframe financial beliefs to shift from stress to empowerment. Set spending boundaries and communicate with loved ones.Redefine holiday joy through connection and meaningful traditions” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-wealth/202411/conquering-holiday-money-stress). The article provides valuable information and I recommend if if you are experiencing holiday anxiety.
What causes holiday stresses for you? What signs tell you that you are overwhelmed with stress during the holidays? Please share your stories, thoughts, insights, and suggestions by either commenting below this post if you are reading this on social media, or, if you are reading this through your email subscription, please share, by emailing me, at reimaginelife22@gmail.com.
Thank you for reading and participating in this blog essay; I invite you to subscribe to my blog at www.reimaginelifecoach.com.
I’m posting this early in case holiday anxiety is getting the better of you and you want to explore some relief from it.
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