“Be careful what you wish for, lest it come true!” *

Do you recall reading or hearing Aesop’s Fables read to you as a child?  If you have not encountered these treasured stories, you have truly missed out: “The origin of this saying [the title of this blog] is Aesop’s Fables, [in the story called "The Old Man And Death] the world’s best known collection of morality tales (circa 260 BC)” (https://medium.com/mindset-matters/who-said-be-careful-what-you-wish-for-d374c5897da4).

His story is not unique in that there are many stories from various countries and cultures that echo the teachings from tales of ethos.  For example, you’re likely familiar with the narrative of  “Aladdin” that comes from a Middle Eastern anthology, “One Thousand And One Nights.”  Remember how Aladdin finds a lamp and in polishing the lamp, he is surprised by the appearance of a magical genie who vowed to grant Aladdin 3 wishes in gratitude for being released from the lamp.  And, there is a wonderful tale from Japan called “The Stonecutter” in which “Tasaku [a stonecutter] …wants to be a rich man.  Tasaku gets his wishes granted and becomes rich and transforms in to many different things but in the end realizes being rich isn't as great as he thought it would be. In the end Tasaku realizes he is happiest as a stonecutter” (qtd. in https://www.japanpowered.com/folklore-and-urban-legends/stonecutter).

Why are these stories of fortune, loss, and lessons learned so vibrant today?  Why do thy resonate with us?  In her article in Psychology Today, Dr. Denise Fournier, shares how “Focusing on what we want can be adaptive…[and she questions its value] but to what end?” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindfully-present-fully-alive/201807/be-careful-what-you-wish).  Fournier continues as she described the following scene: “I recently visited a primary school and noticed an array of student assignments lining the school’s main hallway. Attracted by the bright colors and creative handwriting, I decided to take a closer look. What I saw was a collection of students’ answers to the question: What do you want to be when you grow up? I smiled as I read some of the kids’ responses—predictable ones, like doctor and astronaut, along with some surprises, like aeronautical engineer and toothpaste inventor. As much as I enjoyed seeing the fun stuff these kids came up with, I couldn’t help but feel a bit troubled by the whole thing. Of course, getting kids to think about what they want to be sparks creativity and imagination. It plants seeds of inspiration, inviting them to think about the future and consider what’s possible. But as a therapist who’s spent a lot of time working with disillusioned, distressed, and disappointed adults, I can’t help but see the other side of this well-intentioned thought exercise: It sets the tone for a life spent wishing and wanting” ( https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindfully-present-fully-alive/201807/be-careful-what-you-wish).

The author goes on to say she is not simply being pessimistic; she points out the futility of future-focussed dreaming and hoping we will get what we want only to “…end up aimless, with no clear direction for our lives…Another issue that occurs when we focus on what we want is that we fail to consider the many implications associated with getting it. The expression, ‘Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it’ applies perfectly here. There’s a reason many lottery winners wind up depressed, broke, or suicidal. We might have a clear idea of what we want, but if we don’t consider how our lives will change when we get it, we could end up less happy than when we started” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindfully-present-fully-alive/201807/be-careful-what-you-wish). She makes the point that living in the present moment and accepting what is - for the moment - while we work to bring our desires to fruition rather than wishing away our lives being future-focussed brings more satisfaction.

‘Manifestation’ is a popular topic; still, its meaning has morphed from its original definition.  The official definition from the Oxford English Dictionary is, “…an instance of making manifest: (also more or less concrete) the particular form in which something is manifested; a sign, indication, evidence, proof…” (https://www.oed.com).  In 2024, it can also mean, “To manifest something means to make your dreams, goals, and aspirations a reality by believing you can achieve them. The idea is that by believing you can do something and focusing your thoughts and energy in that direction, you can actually make it happen” (https://www.verywellmind.com). Google ‘manifestation’ and you will get lots of articles discussing how to manifest what you want in life.  Many of these articles encourage people to persist in focusing hard on their desires to make them come true.  This advice can encourage people to place the future as the center of attention.  This fuels a fundamental problem: the future is cloudy, uncertain.  All we have is now, the present.  Focusing on manifesting desires for a future time can leave us anxious and disappointed.  We may wish for something; we may or may not get it.  And, we may, indeed, get it, but it doesn’t happen the way we envisioned:  “Be careful what you wish for, lest it come true [in a way you didn’t anticipate]” (qtd. in https://fablesofaesop.com/the-old-man-and-death.html).

Here is an example personal to me.  Last month, I had a heart attack, underwent surgery, and have lost lots of weight because of it.  Now, let’s back up to the beginning of this year when I started a manifestation journal.  In it, I wrote the following as one of focussed desires: What I want for my health is to keep getting stronger, to get down to 135 lbs., not to take medications, and for my arthritic knee to be restored to full use.  Before my heart attack, I worked out 5+ days a week, ate healthily, didn’t smoke, didn’t drink alcohol and coffee, meditated every day.  Apparently, my DNA / genetics caught up to me.  Look at what I put out in the Cosmos to manifest - to get down to 135 lbs.  Guess what?  After my heart attack, I lost weight, and mostly muscle mass because I can’t work out / lift weights like I had been; I now weight 135 lbs.  So, in this situation, I got what I wished for, but not the way I expected or wanted!

Eckhart Tolle brilliantly reminds us, “Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists…what you accept transforms” (qtd. in https://www.thehappinessdoctor.com/blog/what-you-resist-persists-what-you-accept-transforms).  Fighting against what is - some extra pounds, strengthened and frustrated me in my pre-heart attack life; and, resisting taking medications and not accepting my arthritic knee has persisted.  Only in accepting the present situation - for better or worse - is the only way to transform.

I’m believe in the power of ‘manifestation’; still, I learned a valuable lesson to let go of tight control over future goals / dreams and  to get out of the way of the Universe to see my desires come to fruition, to stay in the present point in time, not resisting what is.  Lyrics from a classic 38 Special song reminds me to “Just hold on loosely but don't let go; if you cling too tightly, you’re gonna lose control” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJtf7R_oVaw).

What do you think? Please share your thoughts and insights by either commenting below this post if you are reading this on social media, or, if you are reading this through your email subscription, please share, by emailing me, at reimaginelife22@gmail.com.

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*(qtd. in https: //fablesofaesop. com/the-old-man-and-death.html)