Advice = the etymology of this word comes from the Latin ‘ad’ meaning ‘to’ and ‘videre’ meaning ‘see’ or ‘look.’ Originally, this word meant ‘a manner of looking at something’ or ‘judgment.’ The modern definition is, “…an opinion or recommendation offered as a guide to action, conduct, etc.” (https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/advice). Synonyms for ‘advice’ include, “guidance, help, suggestion, direction, instruction, counsel, counseling…” (https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/advice). Interestingly, antonyms for ‘advice’ include, “…hinderance, ignorance, misinformation, insincerity, misguidance…” (https://www.powerthesaurus.org/advice/antonyms).
Often, however, ‘advice’ can mean ‘to butt in where you don’t belong,’ or ‘sharing opinions when they are not asked for.’ As a Life Coach, people expect me to give advice and are surprised when I don’t. How many times have you been on the receiving end of unwelcome and unwanted advice? How does it make you feel? Many people do not want advice; if they ask you to share your opinion, they may want to hear various perspectives on an issue so they can be informed enough to decide what is true for them. Or, worse, they may want someone else to make up their mind for them.
What’s the worst advice you’ve been given? For me, it was from my father who attempted to talk me into buying a Chevy Citation for my first car. My Dad does not know about cars; he had seen the low price, not the specs on that make/model; so, he suggest the Citation. I thought the Citation was ugly; at that time in my life, automobile aesthetics was an important buying decision. I did not buy a Citation because it just didn’t ‘feel right.’ It turns out that the Chevy Citation was a terrible car: bad engineering, assembly, and quality problems. While it was bad advice, I listened to my intuition on this and, thankfully, didn’t buy that car.
What’s the best advice you’ve been given? I read this somewhere and it remains the best advice I’ve received: “Fill up your passport with exciting travel locations rather than stocking up space with a bunch of stuff.” Because of this advice, I became a minimalist so I can spend my money on traveling; I don’t have many material things to store and protect. I have photos of the fabulous places I’ve visited.
Have you ignored good advice you’ve been given? I have! Simply, everyone in my family and friend group expressed concern about my marrying “the wrong man.” I disregarded their advice and warnings; it led to my eventual peril. So, that was good counsel I didn’t take; it left me heartbroken and set me back financially.
If you incorporated bad advice into your life or you ignored good advice, you’re not stuck forever. Choose a different path now to make it right for you. If you are bitter over having taken bad advice, I encourage you to work through it to let it go. Consider not sharing advice. If someone asks you, you can share your opinion if you’re comfortable doing so and you can detach from your opinion. Ultimately, the other person must decide what to do with the advice you offer. Instead, you can give yourself good advice; trust that you know deep down what is best for you if you listen to your intuition.
* I will be traveling next week, so, no blog post until the first week in October.
