Have you heard about the “reptile/lizard brain” and the “monkey brain”? No, this is not a joke or a riddle. Some refer to the “fight, freeze, or flight” response as the primal “lizard brain” in which there is all action and not much thought. Alternatively, the “monkey brain” involved cognitive thought processes such as empathy, contemplation, and comprehension. For example, when I see a snake in the yard, I don’t consider if that creature is venomous or not, what shape eyes and head it has. My immediate response is rapid heart rate that pushes me to run away from it. That’s my “lizard brain” filled with fear and the desire to flee. If, however, I observe the snake with curiosity, seeing the colors of its skin, how long it is, how it moves, how its tongue flicks to explore its world, I’m using my “monkey brain” to understand the snake. I realize that the snake is not out to get me. It has no intention of coming after me. My initial fear of the snake subsides.
French philosopher of the 1600s, Rene’ Descartes, is famous for saying, “Duito, ergo cogito, cogito ergo sum.” [“I doubt, therefore, I think; I think, therefore, I am.”] Apparently, Descartes was the end of his search for proving he was alive when he coined this phrase. He strode to form a statement that could not be doubted. Eventually, Descartes settled on the thought that he could not doubt that he, himself, existed, as he was the one doing the doubting in the first place. Of course, this philosophical conundrum is more complex, but, we get the point. Descartes based all on thought, on reflection. Modern philosopher, Eckhart Tolle comments on Descartes’s quote: “If he [Descartes] had waited a little bit longer before saying anything, he could have come to the point of cessation of thinking and then he could have made the more profound statement: ‘I am conscious therefore I am.’ Thinking is only an expression of consciousness: a surface expression of consciousness” (Tolle, The Power of Now).
So, beyond ‘thought’ is consciousness, being aware. Our thoughts are perceptions and not always ‘true’ when tested. Our ‘higher self,' intuition is beyond ‘thought.’ How can we know what is a true thought perception? Writer and speaker Byron Katie has developed a simple, yet highly effective way to test thoughts for what is true for us. She calls it, The Work. It is appropriately named because it is work to examine the truth of the thoughts we think. Here is the foundation of Katie’s work: test thought assumptions by asking four questions.
“1. Is it true? (Yes or No? If no, move to 3.)
2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no)
3. How do I react, what happens, when I believe that thought? What emotions arise when I believe that thought? What images of the past and future do I see when I believe that thought? How do I treat myself and others when I believe the thought?
4. Who or what would I be, in this situation, without the thought?” Who or what am I without the thought?(https://thework.com/)
In Katie’s process, the ‘lizard’ and the ‘monkey brain’ are challenged by inquiry using our own internal wisdom, consciousness, intuition. Here is an example of how this process works that comes from Katie’s book, Loving What Is in an example from one of her workshops:
“ Mary: ‘I hate my husband because he drives me crazy - everything about him, including the way he breathes.’
Katie: ‘Your husband drives you crazy - is it true?’ [This is the first of the four questions]
Mary: ‘Yes.’
Katie: ‘Okay. What an example of that? He breathes?’
Mary: ‘He breathes. When we’re doing conference calls for our business, I can hear his breath on the other end of the telephone, and I want to scream.’
Katie: So, his breath drives you crazy - Can you absolutely know that’s true? ‘[The second of the four questions]
Mary: ‘Yes!’
Katie: ‘We can all relate to that. I hear that it really is true for you. In my experience, it can’t be your husband’s breath that’s driving you crazy; it has to be your thoughts about his breath that are driving you crazy. So, let’s take a closer look and see if that’s true. What are your thoughts about his breath on the phone?’
Mary: ‘That he should be more aware that he’s breathing loudly during a conference call.’
Katie: ‘How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?’ [The third of the four questions]
Mary: ‘I feel like I want to kill him.’
Katie: ‘So, what’s more painful - the thought you attach to his breathing or his breathing?’
Mary: ‘The breathing is more painful. I’m comfortable with the thought that I want to kill him. (Mary laughs, and so does the audience at the workshop.)’
Katie: ‘You can keep that thought. That’s the beautiful thing about The Work. You can keep all your thoughts. So, he’s breathing on the phone and you have the thought that he should be more aware and he’s not. What’s the next thought?’
Mary: ‘It brings up every terrible thought I have about him.’
Katie: ‘ Okay, and he’s still breathing. He should stop breathing into the phone on the conference call - what’s the reality of it? Does he?’
Mary: ‘No. I’ve told him to stop.’
Katie: ‘And he still does it. That’s reality. What’s true is always what’s happening, not the story about what should be happening.He should stop breathing on the phone — is it true?’
Mary: [after a pause]: ‘No. It’s not true. He’s doing it. That’s what’s true. That’s reality.’
Katie: ‘So, how do you react when you think the thought that he should stop breathing on the phone and he doesn’t?’
Mary: ‘I want out. It feels uncomfortable because I know I want out and I now I’m not going anywhere.’
Katie: ‘Let’s move back to inquiry rather than moving further into your story, your interpretation of what’s happening. Do you really want to know the truth?’
Mary: ‘Yes.’
Katie: ‘Okay. If helps if we stick to one statement at a time. Can you see a reason to drop the thought that he should stop breathing on the phone?’ [This is an additional question that helps Mary to see the truth.] I’m not asking Mary to drop her story; let me make it very clear. This is not about getting rid of thoughts or about overcoming, improving, or surrendering them. None of that. This is about realizing for yourself internal cause and effect. The question is simply, ‘Can you see a reason to drop this thought?’
Mary: ‘Yes, I can. It would be a lot more enjoyable to do conference calls without this thought.’
Katie: ‘That’s a good reason. Can you find a stress-free reason to keep this thought, this lie, that he should stop breathing on the phone?’ [This is another additional question to help Mary.]
Mary: ‘No.”
Katie: ‘Who or what would you be without the thought?’ [The fourth of the four questions]’Who would you be while you’re on the conference call with your husband if you didn’t have the ability to think that thought?’
Mary: I’d be much happier. I’d be more powerful. I would be distracted.’
Katie: ‘Yes, that’s it. It’s not his breathing that is causing your problem. It’s your thoughts about his breathing, because you haven’t investigated them to see that they oppose reality in the moment.’ “ (Loving What Is “Introduction”)
This is an amazing process to observe because we see that Mary isn’t thinking the ‘thought’; the ‘thought’ is thinking for Mary. When she examines this thought testing it with the four questions and a couple more, she sees that she has a choice to either hang on to the thought or to see what is, reality. If you want to learn more about this process, I highly recommend Byron Katie’s book, Loving What Is and to check out her website, https://thework.com/, where you can download a worksheet to walk you through examining a thought/situation and test it with the four questions. The Work has more steps in the thought investigation process, so, reading her book will give you the full approach.
How true are your thoughts? Recently, I examined a painful thought about my childhood and my parents’ role in that thought. I had held on to that thought for 55 years; the thought hurt me and angered me. When I examined the thought testing them with the four questions and two additional ones mentioned above, I found that I had been fighting against reality and it was exhausting. By acknowledging the thought and testing it, I was able to stop opposing reality and I’m happier because of it. Perhaps you, too, have thoughts that oppose reality and are worth examining.
Next week’s blog will be perfect for Valentine’s Day because it is by Gina Rider, guest blogger, on relationships.
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