Pitting one collective generation against another has become a toxic trend; what can we do as individuals and collectively to stop this inclination and reverse its destructive results?
When I hear these pejorative terms flung about, and these are only a few of the noxious ones, I cringe: “#BoomerRemover, #CoffinDodger, cheugy, snowflake, #girlboss, Ok Boomer.” Historically, the newest generations blame the previous ones for the world that was left to them. Still, the anger directed at and bullying other generations is a dangerous tendency. The current living generations need one another; we need to move toward, not away from one another.
What can you do to deconstruct generational bashing? Here are a few ideas:
Do not use pejorative terms when referring to a group or an individual from another generation.
The world inherited by the Millennials and Gen Z-ers, for example, is so different from the one previous generations experienced that it confounds us all. They were coached to buy into a success model that worked for The Traditionalists/The Silent Generation/The Baby Boomers; for example, here are two common bits of advice often heard: “Get a college education and you’ll get a much higher paying job,” “Save for a downpayment on a house because a house is a good investment.” These are no longer true, in many cases. Yet, Millennials and Gen Z-ers went deep into educational debt; the high paying jobs weren’t there and they can barely make it because the advice they were given was based on the experiences of the prior generations. Recognize and acknowledge this fact.
Support policies that provide assistance to newer generations so that they can experience effective life. For example, excusing some of the student loan debt is a huge step. Rather than being concerned with “I don’t want to pay for that," consider how your support will free many in the generation to contribute to life and to be ready to take on the leadership as it passes to them.
Remind yourself that there are older people who have had the same experience 100 times and have not grown from it. And, there are many younger people who don’t have that many calendar years and yet have wisdom to share that is almost other-worldly. Chronological age is not a sign of wisdom or folly. We all experience life, so we all have life experience.
Listen to one another without judgment and with respect.
Learn, unlearn, and relearn from one another.
Avoid stereotyping. Be flexible. Mentor an older person; mentor a younger person. Avoid giving advice that is based on the previous world’s characteristics.
Avoid saying things like this: “Well, in my day __________," “This new generation is destroying ________," “Those old people have destroyed our _________________.” “You just have to tighten your belt and pull yourself up by the bootstraps” — old cliches like that one need to be retired — “You don’t understand the pressures I’m under.” On this last phrase, be willing to explain those pressures and, if you are the one listening, be willing to truly hear the other person’s perspectives. Do not try to ‘fix it’; simply listen and acknowledge.
Make friends who are from all generations. Diversity your friendships and your activities.
Avoid ‘living in the past.’ It’s gone and it’s not coming back. You will be happier if you embrace what is now rather than long for the “good ‘ole days.”
Listen to a variety of music. Music often reflects the generations’ experience of life and can help us understand context between generations.
Examine, with someone of another generation, what they consider ‘formal’ and ‘informal,' what is ‘normal,' and what their customs/traditions are. Share your perspectives.
Be relevant, authentic, and honest about your preferences, cultural indoctrination, historical perspectives, experiences, and desires for the future. You may find some common ground between generations upon which you can build relationships.
We and our collective generations have strengths and weaknesses. Putting down another generation is a huge weakness, and it’s one you can control.
When I was a college English professor leading literature classes, I always started a discussion of literature with sharing background on the story, and then, I assured students that I was not going to interpret the literature for them. I didn’t care how the literary ‘experts’ interpreted the works. What I wanted to hear from my students was how the literature resonated with them as the literature flowed through their individual and generational filters. They blew me away with their depth, creative interpretations, and scholarly prowess.
To improve inter-generational communications, working together for the now and the future, pretend you are a social anthropologist who paddles away from the shore of your generation’s culture and history to the mysterious island of another generation’s culture and history. Observe without judgment; be delighted by what you learn. Then, you may observe, “That’s not how I would do it; still, it’s fascinating to see.”
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