“Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xhJcQEfD5s&t=47s)
How do we move through life each day, each week, each month with intention, curiosity, style, and grace? Three key aspects make the journey meaningful: learning new things, slowing down to make the most of each moment, and acknowledging appreciation for what we already have. Last week’s topic was about lifelong learning and about what you want to learn this year as the first key aspect. This week’s blog topic is about slowing down to make the most of each moment.
While we know the past is gone and the future isn’t here yet, why do we brood, cringe, think wistfully about the past and place high hopes, fears, and worry about the future? Even when you believe that the past and future are not linear timelines and are connected to the present, focussing on anything other than the present moment is what creates stress for us. Dr. Leigh Jerome reminds us, “World events can elicit distress. Living in the present moment is an antidote” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-stories-we-tell/202411/how-to-live-in-the-present-moment-and-stop-worrying-so-much).Why is it sometimes difficult to live in the moment, making the most of each moment rather than ruminating or romanticizing the past and future?
Making the most of each moment and staying in the present, the ‘now’, isn’t exactly about ‘mindfulness’ as defined by author Jon Kabat-Zinn as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally. This definition of mindfulness is widely used in research, and it highlights exactly what makes being present so difficult. Being present requires a purposeful, yet unforced, recognition of the moment for what it is, not for what we wish it was or what we think it can be. And, quite frankly, that’s a difficult balance to strike” (qtd. in https://www.psychologytoday.com). Mindfulness may be part of present moment, but not always.
Think about your resume. It is full of past accomplishments and future desires. In a job interview, a common question asked is, “Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 15 years?” That’s future based and it’s all a guess. The COVID-19 pandemic taught us that the future is so nebulous, it’s impossible to know for sure. In his books, The Power of Now and A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle, writer and philosopher, suggests that when we remain in the present moment, that egoic voice in our head that constantly berates us for what we should or shouldn’t see done or enviously compares ourselves to other people or is worried we’ll never make it in this life comes from the ego and not from higher consciousness. The only way to rid ourselves of the fears of the past and of the unknown future is to stay in the moment, in the ‘now.’
Arianna Huffington, founder of The Huffington Post and CEO of Thrive Global and author, shares this: "The biggest mistakes I made were when I was exhausted, when I was overreactive, when I missed an opportunity, or when I missed a red flag"(https://www.oprah.com/app/super-soul-podcast.html). Not staying present in the moment because of being distracted by the crazy pace of life, caused Ms. Huffington to admit what many of us have experienced - missteps, mistakes, misfiring. Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor, Stoic philosopher from 161-180 AC shared this wisdom: " You are here for my benefit, though rumor paints you otherwise. And everything is turned to one's advantage when he greets a situation like this: You are the very thing I was looking for. Truly whatever arises in life is the right material to bring about your growth and the growth of those around you. This, in a word, is art -- and this art called 'life' is a practice suitable to both men and gods. Everything contains some special purpose and a hidden blessing; what then could be strange or arduous when all of life is here to greet you like an old and faithful friend?" (from The Meditations). Aurelius reminds us that each moment brings its own value and we don't want to miss it by not stang present to gain what we are meant to.
When we don’t make the most of this moment, we miss opportunities for seeing things as they are rather than how we wish they had been or will be. Perhaps you know someone who is preoccupied with the opportunities they missed out on in their younger years or who thinks all of their good days are behind them. Perhaps you know someone who thinks, “If I could just get that degree or that new house or that perfect relationship in a few years or lose lots of weight my life will be so much better.” By looking back or looking forward, we miss this moment in time. We stress ourselves out over the past and about the future, so, as Dr. Jerome who was quoted earlier reminds us, “Living in the present moment is an antidote [to the ‘timeline’ stress]” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-stories-we-tell/202411/how-to-live-in-the-present-moment-and-stop-worrying-so-much). By continuing to learn new things and by making the most of each present moment, we can move through life each day, each week, each month with intention, curiosity, style, and grace.
Why do you do to keep in the present moment and to make the most of each moment as it arrives? What happens to you when you live too much in the past or too much for the future? Please share your stories, thoughts, insights, and suggestions by either commenting below this post if you are reading this on social media, or, if you are reading this through your email subscription, please share, by emailing me, at reimaginelife22@gmail.com.
Thank you for reading and participating in this blog essay; I invite you to subscribe to my blog at www.reimaginelifecoach.com.
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