How did we go from Halloween to Christmas overnight? What happened to Thanksgiving Day in the USA coming, in importance, before Christmas? Here’s how: “According to CNBC, 28% of shoppers are still in debt from last year’s Christmas shopping. Nonetheless, the average shopper plans on spending $776 on gifts this holiday season—a nearly 50% increase from just four years ago. What the hell is wrong with us? We’re spending money we don’t have to buy gifts we don’t need for people who don’t want them. With the ‘help’ of retailers creating a false sense of urgency, we’ve whipped ourselves into a frenzy. So, instead of pausing to ponder our impulses, we double down—we lean into the tug of consumerism, attempting to commodify love one purchase at a time.
Over time, we’ve turned ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ into the most stressful time of year. But if we’re stressed out, perhaps we’re celebrating the holidays incorrectly.
Of course, we needn’t Grinch our Christmases to save our bank accounts and our sanity. It is possible to spend less money and still enjoy a more meaningful holiday season” (qtd. in https://www.theminimalists.com/ideas/)
According to the National Retail Federation (NRF), “Consumer spending on the winter holidays is expected to reach a record $902 per person on average across gifts, food, decorations and other seasonal items, according to the [NRF] latest consumer survey conducted by Prosper Insights & Analytics. The amount is about $25 per person more than last year’s figure and $16 higher than the previous record set in 2019…’The winter holidays are a treasured time for Americans, and they are prioritizing spending on family this holiday season,’ NRF Vice President of Industry and Consumer Insights Katherine Cullen said” (https://nrf.com/media-center/press-releases/2024-holiday-spending-expected-reach-new-record).
These two quoted sections above highlight the ‘why’ of holiday spending and sound the alarm for making changes in how we approach the holidays and depending. I actually gagged when I read Ms. Cullen’s words: “The winter holidays are a treasured time for Americans, and they are prioritizing spending on family this holiday season.” What?!, the holidays are “a treasured time” because people “are prioritizing spending on family.” How did cherished time spent together with family and friends get watered down by the priority of spending money?
I know it’s difficult to stop over-spending, especially during the holidays. We don’t want to be labeled a ‘grinch’ or a ‘cheapskate.’ Still, “Household debt in the U.S. continues to hit new heights, reaching $17.5 trillion in the fourth quarter of 2023. That number includes mortgage balances of $12.25 trillion, auto loan balances of $1.61 trillion and credit card balances of $1.13 trillion. Despite this growth in total debt, however, debt payments as a percentage of personal income have been on an overall downward trend since a peak in 2007. Debt payments fell precipitously in early 2021, likely due to COVID-19 pandemic payment pauses. The percentage has increased slightly since then but is still lower than at any other time in the past 40 years” (https://www.consumeraffairs.com/finance/average-american-debt-statisitics.html). “Expenses where consumers predict the most debt:
Gifts — 61%.
Holiday meals — 44%.
Necessities — 29%.
With one-third of the U.S. population going into the holidays with over $5,000 in debt, ‘feelings of unrest (can) stem from money worries,’ Courtney Alev, consumer financial advocate at Intuit Credit Karma, said. ‘Our study found that more than a third of Americans (37%) say the cost of the holidays negatively impacts their mental health’” (qtd. in https://www.deseret.com/utah/2024/11/09/inflation-holiday-shopping-affording-christmas/).
Asma Khalid of NPR interviewed LendingTree Chief Credit Analyst, Matt Schultz about why American “…adults go into debt to pay for holiday expenses. The bottom line is that “A third of American adults go into debt to pay for holiday shopping” (qtd. in https://www.npr.org/2023/12/02/1216716055/a-third-of-american-adults-go-into-debt-to-pay-for-holiday-shopping). It’s time to normalize scaling way back on holiday spending. Get in the habit now before tariffs are imposed and prices go up; spending will be more difficult. It’s a great time to change our overspending habits now.
What are ideas for a debt-free, stress-free, drama-free Christmas? Here are a few to jump start our making the holidays special without going into debt to do it:
Make a pact with yourself or with your family that if you don’t have the money in the bank after you’ve paid your bills, DO NOT SPEND MONEY YOU DON’T HAVE. If there’s no money for extras, like gifts, don’t borrow or use your credit card to buy what you cannot afford now.
Put up your holiday tree and decorate with lights early in the season to give a a lift to your spirits, to enjoy the uniqueness of the end of the year festivities before they get manic. Make hot cocoa or have eggnog (with or without added spirits) and special cookies. Sit back and enjoy the treats.
Invite friends / family over to watch holiday movies. Pop some popcorn & enjoy the time together.
Gather friends and family to go ride around town looking at holiday light displays and finish the evening at home baking together.
Support locally owned businesses when you do shop for a gift.
If you and your friends/family are musically inclined, plan an evening at home playing and singing holiday songs together. You could borrow copies of Handel’s Messiah and set up a recording of it on Alexa, then, everyone sing the cantata together.
Set an evening to play board games cards, video games, or virtual reality experiences with friends/family. Have everyone bring their favorite snacks to share.
Let your friends and family know now that you are cutting back on gift-giving. And, stand your ground. Ask others not to give you a gift; instead, they can send a beautiful card with a letter inside. We all know that cards and postage are expensive, so that’s gift enough . What if they insist on giving you a gift? Read the next few ideas on what to give; the first items listed come from The Minimalists (https://www.theminimalists.com/)
* “Gift Experiences - [If we want to give something], we can gift experiences instead of stuff. [Stuff takes up more space; experiences create memories that continue to give joy.] We asked our friends and family for some of their favorite free or inexpensive adventures:
[going to see] Sunsets
Theater. [pro events are pricey, so choose local high school/community college events]
Beaches
Concerts [pro events are pricey, so choose local high school/community college events]
Festivals
Hayrides
Massages
Museums
Artwalks
Road trips
Yoga classes
Rock climbing
[going to see] Holiday lights
Sporting events. [pro events are pricey, so choose local high school/community college events]
Meditation retreat. [host your own]
Christmas-tree hunting.
* Gift Consumables -If gifting a physical gift is required, thoughtful consumables are a welcome alternative to material trinkets:
Books
Wine
Chocolate.Craft beer
Essential oil
.Artisanal cheese
Home-cooked meals
Anything homemade
Gift Charitable Donations - Better yet, if your friends and family already have everything they need, consider buying them a charity brick! They’ll appreciate it more than the scented candles, stale fruitcakes, and holiday-themed socks that other people got for them” (https://www.theminimalists.com/ideas/). Are you wondering what a ‘charity brick’ is? Learn about this by opening this link: https://www.theminimalists.com/brick/ . Of course, it doesn’t have to be a’brick,’ it can be any charitable donation.
How about when potatoes or onions or canned goods go on BOGO sales keep one for yourself and donate the other one to a food bank, a community kitchen in the name of a person you are ‘gifting’ ? By the way, this is a great thing to do year round because people are hungry year round.
Involve family, friends, and family of choice in preparing holiday meals so everyone shares in the cost and the time it takes. Include the children.
Host a cookie-baking evening and donate the cookies made to a community center. Include the children so they see you give and the learn to give without getting something in return. Give anonymously.
Get out of your church and go where people truly need holiday cheer. Serve in a community kitchen; offer to buy groceries for a family for a week, offer to babysit or take someone to the doctor. Include the children. Do this anonymously if appropriate.
Have everyone in your family or group of friends select a card from 'Angel Trees' to give to children who are in need. Rather than spending money on yourselves, spend a little on others.
The “perfect holiday” is as much an illusion as the “perfect wedding.” Our holidays will be more peaceful, meaningful, enjoyable is we approach them without expectations and without applying unrealistic standards.
For the children in your life, apply the policy of four:Want, Need, Wear, Read. Educator and neurodiversity consultant, Amanda Morin shares, “This giving strategy has meant less chaos, clearer expectations, and less disappointment for our family. And even with fewer gifts, both boys are now happier because they know they have a direct say in what they get. There are other benefits too. The other day, when I asked my older son what his ‘want’ present should be this year, I was pleasantly surprised by his answer.
‘I can’t think of anything I want that I don’t also need or wouldn’t read,’ he said. ‘But what do you want, Mom?’” (https://www.understood.org/en/articles/want-need-wear-read- the-holiday-gift-strategy-that-work-for-my-kids). This article explains more about why this strategy is so effective, so, I encourage you to read the entire commentary.
Share your passion with others as a gift. For example, do you read Tarot cards or cast Astrology charts? You could do a reading or discuss what’s coming up in a friend’s astrological chart. Perhaps you knit. You could knit warm scarves or gloves to give to people who are unhomed or to school children who need these items. Do this anonymously if appropriate.
Pay off some children’s food bills at a local school. Do this anonymously if appropriate.
If a friend expresses a need and you are in a position to help fulfill that need, do it.
If someone doesn’t accept your boundaries on gift giving, keep in mind that they will cross your boundary because it makes them feel good, not you.
Why go into debt, overindulge yourself and others, stressing out yourself in the spirit of making the holidays great? Rather, focus on curating the small holidays rather than the extravagantly big holidays.
What do you do to minimize the holidays in how much you spend, how many gifts you give, how many activities you participate in, how much cooking / baking you do? Please share your thoughts, insights, and suggestions by either commenting below this post if you are reading this on social media, or, if you are reading this through your email subscription, please share, by emailing me, at reimaginelife22@gmail.com.
Thank you for reading and participating in this blog essay; I invite you to subscribe to my blog at www.reimaginelifecoach.com.
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