While it seems incongruous to bring up the topic of death during the beautiful, sunny days of summer, it’s practical to talk about death anytime because it can happen anytime. I promise I’m not focussing on being morbid. I am, however, interested in exploring what choices are available for what happens to our former human home for our spirit once that body gives out. And, it helps our family members and friends left behind to know now, while we are alive, what our desires are for after we have died. It’s tough enough for them to work through their grief when we have passed without the added burden of trying to figure out what our wishes were. It’s loving, kind to plan ahead, to let our friends and family know what our wishes are so that they don’t have to guess.
For some people, a traditional burial in a casket the ground or in a vault is their choice. Some people want their send-off to be a solemn occasion with a funeral or memorial service. This is, however, an expensive option. According to a July 12, 2023, article, “The national median cost for a funeral with a viewing and burial is $7,848” (https://www.thezebra.com/resources/personal-finance/how-much-does-a-funeral-cost/). Of course one can spend much more when a land plot is purchased. Some people like to think their loved ones will go to the cemetary to spend quiet moments where our body has been buries. On the other hand, burials can take up lots of useful land that could be used more effectively by the living.
Other people choose cremation with, perhaps, a memorial service/funeral. And, what is the average cost for a funeral and cremation? “ It costs [about] $6,971” (https://www.thezebra.com/resources/personal-finance/how-much-does-a-funeral-cost/). Depending on the urn or other container that is purchased for holding the ashes, the cost can go up. I encourage you to open the link for the article mentioned above to see the average costs for a funeral with burial or cremation by state and a breakdown of the traditional burial/funeral/cremation/memorial service costs.
Alternatively, some people see the former home for our spirit as a simply an empty vessel now that the person is not living inside it. They are not interested in the high costs associated with the traditional casket burial or cremation. Other options, especially for those of us who see the cycle of life as a natural part of living and dissolving, include body donations to science, medical schools, and a form of ‘organic reduction.’ Let’s discuss the donation option first and then we’ll look at ‘green’ options.
Years ago, my family and I signed the paperwork to donate our bodies to Louisiana State University Medical School (LSUMS). There is rarely any expense with whole body or tissue donations. When my brother was in doctor training at LSUMS, I visited him outside the gross anatomy lab. Above the door was the befitting Latin phrase, Mortui vivos docent: The dead teach the living. I am pleased to know that my vacated body will be used for good. While technology has come a long way with simulations, do you want your doctor to have only learned human anatomy through simulations? I would not! I want my doctor to have dissected a complete human body as part of their medical training. There is an exception to a body being accepted at time of death even if that person had signed the papers to donate their body to science. That exception is in the case where the body is too toxic with COVID-19, HIV, hepatitis, or similar conditions. So, if you choose donation, you will need a ‘Plan B’ in case your body is not accepted at your death. The other issue to consider is if there are too many bodies donated in your location and the organization will not accept any more applications for donations. I encourage you to read this article to learn more: https://unitedtissue.org/donate-my-body-to-science/ If you select this method, your friends and family can still hold a memorial service for you. And, if you choose donation, you must let your family and friends know that is your desire.
Another choice is one that I’m keeping an eye on because it is the best option for honoring the environment. It is becoming more popular as more people learn about it; it’s ’Natural Organic Reduction [NOR]’ which features several sub-options. “Natural Organic Reduction is defined as ‘the contained, accelerated conversion of human remains to soil’”(https://www.agreenerfuneral.org/natural-organic-reduction/). This option is known as a ‘green funeral.’ At present, only six states in the United States allows this; several other states are considering it. There are green burials, herbal preparations and wrapping of the body, hydro creation, body farms, composting. To learn more, open the link above in this paragraph. The linked article also shares links other helpful resources about NOR.
Once a person had made the decision about what to do with their physical body after death, it’s time to explore resources to solidify their plans: funeral homes, casket or cremation urn selection and purchase, burial plot selection and purchase, type of funeral or memorial service, donation paperwork, NOR. Then, the person needs to tell family and friends of their specific wishes and record the information. There’s a great organizer to leave your family and friends that spells out your desires, where important papers are, what key user names and passwords are, bank account info, beneficiary info, wills and other legal documents, personal info for your obituary, and much more. An inexpensive organizer is the Peace of Mind Planner that is available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Peace-Mind-Planner-Information-Belongings/ It is easy to use and is thorough.
If you don’t have current legal documents, even if you are a young adult, don’t wait! At the least, you need a will, Power of Attorney, Medical Directives, and, you may need more legal documentation if you are a business owner or have succession challenges. See a reputable lawyer to get these key documents prepared. They can always be altered as you get older and needs change, but, if you die without these documents, you will put your family, who is already grieving your passing, in financial jeopardy. Your assets will not be readily available for your family to use for funeral experience and to pay for lingering medical bills, for example. Once you have these plans in place and you’ve shared where they are kept with the important people in your life, forget about them and live your life.
Even though none of us wants to think about our death, it is a reality best approached through planning and preparation to make the transition easier for those we leave behind. What choices have you made about the after-death of your physical body? What plans have you put in place: wills, Medical Directives, Power of Attorney? Where are your important papers / documents kept so that your loved ones can find them after your death? Have you thought of what kind of funeral or memorial service you want: religious, secular, spiritual, a wild party for your send-off? Do you own a home and other items that have a mortgage on them? If so, do you have life insurance to help pay those off for your family left behind?
Thank you for reading this blog essay; if you read this on social media, please type your comments below. Or, if you read this in your subscription, please share your thoughts in an email to me at reimaginelife22@gmail.com. I would enjoy hearing your thoughts, ideas, inspirations, and suggestions.
