‘Shadow work’ relates to one of the seven laws of nature: The Law of Polarity. If there is good, there is also bad. If there is organization, there is also chaos. If there is heat, there is also cool. If we have a side that shows in the light, we also have a side that is in the shadows: conscious and subconscious, healed and fractured, what we show the world of ourselves and what we hide from the world. Carl Jung, the famous psychoanalyst, is credited as having originated the concept of the ‘shade self’, “…to describe the things people repress or do not like to acknowledge. He theorized that it is a counterweight to the persona, which is the self that people present to others” (https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-is-shadow-work). We don’t have to engage a psychologist, psychatrist, or counselor to do shadow work to address our shade/shadow self. What is needed is our commitment to working all the way through the shadowlands, our honesty about ourselves, and choosing & using a simple exercise to help us do the shadow work.
Are there aspects over your lifetime that you cannot let go of but you want to? Are there undesirable patterns that repeat in your life? Are there confounding triggers that bring out anger, sadness, joy that you cannot explain? If your answer is “yes” to these questions, doing shadow work will benefit you. Before I share a simple shadow work exercise and other options for shadow work, let’s look more at the background of shadow work, the benefits of doing the work, and what shadow work involves.
We have all seen those little crosses on the side of the road that are roadside memorials. In the southwestern part of the USA, these are referred to as descansos: in English, it means ‘rest.’ They are also called, Las Crucitas, ‘the little crosses.’ They mark a place where someone’s life or a beloved pet’s life has been cut down. Writer, Peter Warzel, explains, “I use the word crucita here out of personal preference. You will not find that word in a Spanish dictionary, rather it is my own use of diminutive for cross—cruz, las cruces, las crucitas. Descansos is a more prevalent term for the crosses, taken from history as the resting place in a funeral procession to the cemetery. Shrines and markers were set at the assigned stopping points where the men carrying a casket could stop and rest … Memoria is also used in various locales of the country, all terms of obvious Spanish origin” (https://catapult.co/stories/roadside-crosses-descanso-crucitas-peter-warzel).
One of the exercises I’ll introduce later in this essay comes from Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, in her book, Women Who Run With the Wolves. For now, Pinkola Estes reminds us, “Be gentle with yourself and make the descansos, the resting places for the aspects of yourself that were on their way to somewhere, but never arrived. Descansos mark the death sites, the dark times, but they are also love notes to your suffering. They are transformative. There is a lot to be said for pinning things to the earth so they don’t follow us around. There is a lot to be said for laying them to rest” (Women Who Run With the Wolves).
Elizabeth Perry shares this about what’s involved in shadow work and how it benefits us: “Your shadow isn’t a flaw or a mistake — instead, it’s a natural part of who you are. Shadow work is, at heart, about developing self-awareness and ultimately, self-acceptance and compassion. Shadow work is often both therapy and more spiritual, helping you see the different parts of yourself. For people who have been especially good at avoiding their shadow — for instance, because it is too far different from your own self-perception or desired impression — shadow work is about acknowledging the existence of shadows and getting curious about exploring them. For those whose shadow is associated with trauma, this type of work helps you work through trauma to embrace the part of yourself that’s been suppressed or shamed throughout your life. By accepting your shadow self, you can start to see how your thoughts and emotions influence your behavior. When you’re aware of this, you can take control and empower yourself to live life more deliberately and consciously. You can start to show up as your authentic self” (https://www.betterup.com/blog/shadow-work).
How does one do shadow work? There are a myriad of techniques, approaches, and exercises to do shadow work. For most of these, you don’t need anyone else; all you need is to be honest with yourself and not to stop part-way through. Self-compassion, uninterrupted time, and guiding process are the key ingredients to effective shadow work. Here are some approaches to consider:
Hypnosis and Past Life Regression: Usually, you will need to engage someone trained to guide you through discovery and in exploring your shadow self. You can use a guided meditation to hypnotize yourself. Then, you can write down what all comes up from your shadow self. Alternatively, you can work with a trained hypnotist or past life regression counselor.
Complete the desconsos map/timeline of your life: as described by Clarissa Pinkola Estes in Chapter 12 “Marking Territory: The Boundaries of Rage and Forgiveness.” This is a technique I highly recommend. Your shadow self will come out if you engage honestly with yourself while going through the exercise. While you can use this exercise for shadow work out of context of her book, reading Women Who Run With the Wolves, for women, is life-changing. Here’s how it works and I’m sharing my personal additions to Pinkola Estes’ exercise.
1. Take yourself away for a day, or two if you can, away from all responsibilities, away from the phone, away from the television, away from the computer, away from social media, away from other people, away from being dressed up and ornamented, away from music and other sounds and distractions. Preferably, go somewhere that features natural beauty.
2. Get out a long piece of white butcher paper or wide paper on a roll. Don’t be surprised when you have to add more length and take it to the previous sheet. You are making a timeline of your life, so far, of the “deaths” you’ve experienced: the profound disappointments, times you lost direction, your hopes and dreams that didn’t work out, tragedies that have happened to you and upon you.
3. Have ready a pen, a box of tissues, water, a pillow in case you want to punch something.
4. Spend time meditating, praying, centering/grounding yourself.
5. Starting from infancy, make a little cross on the paper, starting at the far left side, “…where there were roads not taken, paths that were cut off, ambushes, betrayals, and deaths. I put a little cross along the time-line at the places that should have been mourned, or still need to be mourned. And, then, I write in the background ‘forgotten’ for those things that [are sensed] but which have not yet surfaced [or been acknowledged]” (Women Who Run With the Wolves 396).
6. After you have grieved each little cross that you’ve put on your timeline from your earliest memories to today, “…write ‘forgiven’ over those things [you have], for the most part released” (396).
7. “Be gentle with yourself and make the descansos, the resting places for the aspects of yourself that were on their way to somewhere, but never arrived” (396).
8. “Descansos mark the death sites, the dark times, [the shadow experiences], but, they are also love notes to your suffering. They are transformative” 396-397).
9. Your shadow self may reveal lots of information during and after you’ve completed the shadow work. This is a great gift to yourself!
See this website for a simple technique of shadow self discovery: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/shadow-work#repression
This website includes nine shadow work exercises to check out: https://mindfulzen.co/shadow-work-exercises/
In this website, you can see an example of someone’s shadow work/descansos: https://therhetoricofmagic.com/personal-reflections/descansos/
What are additional benefits of doing shadow work?According to Beth Ann Mayer, there are four basic advantages to doing shadow work: “…feeling whole or integrated as a person,
improved interactions with others, healing generational trauma, and learning healthy ways to meet your needs” (https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/shadow-work#benefits). Self-awareness of what we present to the exterior world and of what parts of us are in shadow is an effective trait to possess. Socrates shared these thoughts with his students: “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom” (https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/know-thyself.html) Author, Connie Zweig offers this endorsement of doing shadow work: "The rewards are profound. Shadow-work enables us to alter our self-sabotaging behavior so that we can achieve a more self-directed life” (https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/know-thyself.html).
Can shadow work be dangerous? Dr. Jennifer Sweeton says , “…anyone can benefit from shadow work and that not doing it is actually more dangerous than doing it. ‘There’s nothing about you that is unbearable,’ Sweeton reminds people. ‘Whatever is inside of you, it’s already acting itself out. Looking at it makes it safer’” (qtd. in https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/shadow-work#what-is-it). Shadow work often brings up and out some serious, painful, disturbing events and feelings, so, you must be prepared to work through those. If you want a therapist to help you cope with what your shadow work reveals, that may be helpful.
In closing, the words of Carl Jung remind us, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious” (https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/shadow-work.html).
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In addition to the websites cited in the essay, these resources may be helpful too:
