Think Differently...Do Differently

We all know at least one person who is so unwilling to change or compromise that they will not consider other ways of thinking or of experiencing life.   Right?  Why are some people change averse?  Science tells us, "We are hardwired to resist change. Part of the brain—the amygdala—interprets change as a threat and releases the hormones for fear, fight, or flight [freeze or fawn too]. Your body is actually protecting you from change.  That is why so many people…, when presented with a new initiative or idea—even a good one, with tons of benefits—will resist it” (https://www.emersonhc.com/change-management/people-hard-wired-resist-change). 

Martin Taylor reminds us of the common stress responses: “Fight or flight is a well-known stress response that occurs when hormones are released in your body, prompting you to stay and fight or run and flee danger. If your body perceives itself to be in trouble, your system will work to keep you alive. Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are a broader collection of natural bodily reactions to stressful, frightening, or dangerous events. This sympathetic nervous system response dates back to our ancestors coming face-to-face with dangerous animals. What Is Fight, Flight, or Freeze? Fight, flight or freeze are the three most basic stress responses. They reflect how your body will react to danger. Fawn is the fourth stress response that was identified later. The fight response is your body’s way of facing any perceived threat aggressively. Flight means your body urges you to run from danger. Freeze is your body’s inability to move or act against a threat. Fawn is your body’s stress response to try to please someone to avoid conflict. The goal of the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn response is to decrease, end, or evade danger and return to a calm, relaxed state” (https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-does-fight-flight-freeze-fawn-mean). 

What stress response is your go-to?  If you aren’t sure, I highly recommend you read the webmd article mentioned in the previous paragraph.  In that article, you will a list of signs that indicate each stress response and a list of how to work with each stress response so that it does not take you over.  

How are change and stress related? “Change is inevitable, and it inevitably creates stress. But that’s not necessarily bad. Whether change is negative (like losing a job) or positive (like graduating from college or getting married), it requires a readjustment of the way we navigate our daily lives. And that creates opportunities for growth as well as challenges to overcome. Over the last [four] years, change and the uncertainty that comes with it have been constants for most of us. The anxiety and recalibration that change catalyzes—even good changes, such as getting vaccinated and being able to return to pre-pandemic activities—can leave us feeling drained, out of control, and depressed. In a study done with teens and young adults, higher levels of change, including positive change, were associated with depressive symptoms” (https://www.newporthealthcare.com/resources/industry-articles/10-ways-to-cope-with-change/). So, change - positive or not - often causes stress; then, stress causes changes: 1. physiological changes such as anxiety attacks, headaches, heart racing, shortness of breath, chest and muscle pains, exhaustion, libido drops, stomach /digestive challenges, weakened immune system; 2. psychological and mood changes such as generalized anxiety, overeating / undereating, restlessness, anger outbursts, lack of motivation / drive, abusing alcohol and drugs (prescription and illicit), memory challenges, too much tobacco use, feeling overwhelmed, overworking or underworking, avoiding friends and family, withdrawal from life, over-exercising or not getting enough exercise, sadness / depression (https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-symptoms/art-20050987).  

When we think differently about change and stress in our lives, the thoughts will direct how we respond; we can think differently to do differently.  While this sounds easy, we know it’s not.  Still, it’s an ideal to work toward.  

Here is an example someone shared with me on thinking differently to do, behave, experience life differently: “I was such a people-pleaser, especially trying to get my parents to like me and to respect who I am, that I was always sick to my stomach around them or when we talked over the phone.  And, I felt I had to get advanced degrees and move up the corporate ladder to prove to them that I was worthy.  I overworked myself into a nervous breakdown.  After all that, my parents were still disappointed in me. In therapy, I acknowledged the harm people-pleasing had done to me and I was encouraged to think differently about what I wanted for my life.  I decided I wanted get my personal fitness trainer certification.  Of course my parents think I’ve wasted all of my expensive eduction ‘just to work in a gym,' but, I no longer care because I’m living for ME and no one else. I love my life now. I’m fine just being me.”

What have you thought differently about that caused you to do life differently?  What do you want to think differently about so you can experience life differently?  What needs to work differently in your life and what thoughts must you think to make that happen?  Please share your thoughts / ideas by commenting below if you are reading this on social media or send a message to me at reimaginelife22@gmail.com .

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