What are Your Tips for a Drama-Free Life?

When I think of ‘drama,' what comes to mind first is sitting in a packed theatre experiencing a play or musical being acted out on stage. My next thought when I consider the word, ‘drama,’ is I picture someone who seems to attract and respond to situations in an exaggerated, histrionic, overdone, ultra-sensationalized, and overly emotional manner. Do you know people who are ‘drama people’ that match that description? While I am sometimes a dramatic person in my attire, make-up, and speech, I run away from drama as a way of life.

According to Dr. Abigail Brenner, “Unnecessary drama takes you away from living life to the fullest. [Key points about drama include,]

* Drama often accompanies major life changes and transitions. *Unnecessary drama happens when people turn small issues into large problems.

*Drama is often created by those who need attention and excitement in their life.

*Strategies to avoid drama include creating healthy boundaries and limiting your time with drama-seekers” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/202108/5-ways-avoid-drama).

Perhaps you like drama in your life. Consider what inviting, creating, and sharing drama does to you and to other people within your field of influence. Does it enrich your life and the lives of others? Is it a help or a hindrance? When you engage in generating and perpetuating drama, do you feel energized or drained; do you feel at peace and grounded or do you feel agitated and depressed; do you feel strong or do you feel weak? Do you feel hope or hopelessness?

In an article about attracting drama, psychotherapist Stephen Karpman, “…created a way of thinking about drama that helps us understand if we are playing a role that helps or hinders our reaction to people or circumstances that cause stress reactions in us. As a result, I’ve come to realise that some of the less than favourable circumstances in my life were not just being allowed or supported. Something they were being created by me. There are three roles we can play to stay trapped: The Victim, The Rescuer, and The Perpetrator”

(qtd. in https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/mind-body/wellbeing/do-you-seem-to-attract-drama-into-your-life-the-reason-might-surprise-you). He goes on to describe each role, archetype, and suggests three ways to reduce drama: “If we have more people in the world choosing to see and understand how they react and respond then life and the world just becomes better. To start with you can do three things:

1. We acknowledge the role we are playing. This is where we have the emotional maturity to recognise that it takes two to tango and we take responsibility for our reactions. If you can’t own it you can’t change it.

2. We seek to understand. Usually, the cause of the issue is not what we react to. We tend to respond to the meaning we make from the situation. If someone speaks to you poorly you may decide they don’t respect you or they have an attitude problem. It’s the assumptions we make that can often cause the reaction – not the actual facts.

3. We find the learning. There is always something to learn from our interactions with people and life. If you dare. How we respond is one of them. Also looking for the opportunity to grow from it” (qtd. in https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/mind-body/wellbeing/do-you-seem-to-attract-drama-into-your-life-the-reason-might-surprise-you).

Here are my thoughts on why I avoid drama and a couple of tips that help me reduce drama in my life:

• Stirring up drama may make me feel energized for a short moment; then, it drains me; it interferes with my peace, so, I avoid drama and people who cling to drama as a way of life.

• How I avoid drama is to purposefully draw people into my life who are realistic and shun overly sensational ways of looking at life; I avoid doom-sayers and negativity, so, I do not watch/listen to the news. This is a way of life I’ve embraced over the past year and I have learned that living drama-free is a much more harmonious way to live.

Do I have ‘drama people’ in my circle of friends? Yes. I dearly love them, and yet, being around them often leaves me thoroughly empty and exhausted. Their drama-filled ways of living is unappealing to me, so, I step back to allow them to express their drama without being drawn in to it.

What are your reasons for reducing drama in your life? What tips will you share for avoiding drama? I invite you to share your thoughts, insights, and tips on avoiding drama by either commenting below this post if you are reading this on social media, or, if you are reading this through your email subscription, please share, by emailing me, at reimaginelife22@gmail.com your answers to these questions.

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