You be You; I'll be Me

In Ira Levin’s novel, The Stepford Wives, the author presents a tale that is satirical, terror-struck, and cautionary. Briefly, the story is about a group of men who turn their wives into robots devoid of free-will, ability to think for themselves, and turn them submissive.  And, in Margaret Atwood’s horrifying dystopian novel of a country turned into a patriarchal, nationalistic theocracy, The Handmaid’s Tale, men along with some complicit privileged women force single women into servitude. More recently, the term, ‘cancel culture,’ has highlighted the tendency in individuals and some groups in society to cancel out what they deem is, “…unacceptable [in speech, behavior, manner] and ‘offenders’ are ostracized, boycotted, or shunned” (qtd. in https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/28/style/is-it-canceled.html). Writer John McDermitt clarifies: “This shunning may extend to social or professional circles—whether on social media or in person—with most high-profile incidents involving celebrities. Those subject to this ostracism are said to have been ‘canceled’"(https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/02/style/what-is-cancel-culture.html).

Cancelling what does not resonate with us, with few exceptions such as universal laws of Homo sapiens, is healthy for our well being and peaceful existence. When we define our truth and live with integrity, we are who we were designed to be.   Actor, Anthony Hopkins muses: ”My philosophy is: What people say about me is none of my business. I am who I am and do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And that makes life easier.

We live in a world where funerals are more important than the deceased, marriage is more important than love, looks are more important than the soul. We live in a packaging culture that despises content” (https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/389544.Anthony_Hopkins).

Unfortunately, there are sects, cults in a sub-culture that wants to force others to think as they do, live as they do, speak as they do, and to believe as they do.  These cults seek to impose their restrictive beliefs on everyone. What has happened to the concept of ‘you be you; I’ll be me,’ tolerance of, acceptance of, embracing of diversity?  If you don’t want to read certain books, don’t read them and do not force others to make your same choice by banning the books you deem unacceptable to you.  If you don’t want to attend drag shows, don’t go and do not force others to do as you do when they want to enjoy the shows.  If you don’t believe in abortion, don’t have one and do not force others into taking away their options.  If you embrace a certain religion, don’t force your religion on others.. If you hold specific ‘truths,’ do not force others to buy-in to your ‘truths’ and be respectful that others hold different ‘truths’ from you. If you do not like what public schools are teaching, then teach your children at home and do not force others to bend to your beliefs.  If you do not like the reality of history, do not force others to become blind to the truth of history.  If you don’t believe the truth of science, do not block the truth of science to others. You be you, and I’ll be me.

Yes, there are some general laws meant to keep the peace for everyone.  We agree to those and abide by them or face consequences of unlawful actions.  Still, restrictions placed on all because a few take offense to something, is unacceptable.  Making rulings, for example, based on specific religions’ stern ways is anti-free will and is exclusionary to other ways of living.  You be you; I’ll be me.

During this season of “goodwill,” consider that there is more than one way to live.  Here are synonyms of the word, goodwill: “… benevolence, compassion, kind-heartedness, big-heartedness, goodness, kindness, kindliness, consideration, charity; cooperation, collaboration, friendliness, thoughtfulness, decency, amity, sympathy, understanding, amenability, neighborliness, mutual support” (https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/synonym).  Do any of these words indicate forcing others to bend to your will?  No. ‘Compassion’ doesn’t decide what’s best for others based on another person’s personal beliefs.  ‘Collaboration’ doesn’t force its way on others; it seeks working together for the good of everyone, not just for a few zealots.  ‘Understanding’ doesn’t coerce others into buying-in to one group’s practices.  If you cannot live “goodwill to all,” then don’t sing the holiday songs that wish “goodwill to all.”  If you do, you are choosing to act hypocritically.  You be you, and I’ll be me: that paves the way to peaceful coexisting.

As I close this article, I wish you goodwill, peace, joy, and hope. What are some of the ways you express, in healthy ways, ‘I’ll will be me’ while accepting ‘you be you’?   Please share your thoughts, insights by either commenting below this post if you are reading this on social media, or, if you are reading this through your email subscription, please share, by emailing me, at reimaginelife22@gmail.com your answers to this question.

Thank you for reading and participating in this blog essay; I invite you to subscribe to my blog at www.reimaginelifecoach.com.